I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
