i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I forget how to act sober
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
