Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
