If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize