girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
