My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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