so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
