I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
