no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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