I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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