Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i out mim tonsoeep
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