why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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