Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
