i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
