...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
