Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
