mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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