He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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