her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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