she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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