I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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