I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
