You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm at about main and main street
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
