Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
