Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize