does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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