David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
