Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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