Nicole vs. Life
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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