K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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