What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
