I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I didn't notice because vodka
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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