I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
