Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
