What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
