She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
