You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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