I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
