i was born a porn star she said
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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