we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
