Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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