I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize