I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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