he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
