what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
