My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
