Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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