New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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