Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am one with the molecules
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
