it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
