It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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