i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm having to shit out rocks
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