She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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