i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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