I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
