I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
