Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize